What Child is this, who laid to rest on Mary’s lap is sleeping? Whom angels greet with anthems sweet while shepherds watch are keeping? This, this is Christ the King Whom shepherds guard and angels sing Haste, haste to bring Him laud, the babe, the son of Mary.

About the Music 

About the Light 

As a young single mom I was no stranger to stress.  My fast paced job as a registered nurse involved overtime and on-call.  And my three small boys were very active.  

My health, for the most part was good, but one winter I came down with a case of bronchitis I just couldn't kick.  So I turned to mainstream medicine.  

Taking the Medical Route

I took round after round of antibiotics, self-administered albuterol nebulizer treatments and began the bronchodilator theophylline which was potentially so toxic it had to be monitored through bloodwork.  This would have been fine - if anything I was being told to do had helped.  But it really didn't.  In fact, every time I began to feel a little better, I'd relapse.

Finally, my doctor suggested prednisone.  I was familiar with prednisone and its side effects - and already experiencing significant side effects from the other medication I was taking.  So I decided to look into complimentary and alternative modalities.

Complimentary, Alternative  and Holistic Wellness

The first thing I learned was the difference between complimentary and alternative wellness.  Alternative health care is exactly what it says - an alternative to conventional (or biologically based) medicine.  Complimentary (or holistic) measures, on the other hand, work alongside - but do not replace - mainstream medical management. 

Once I understood the terminology, I was pleased to learn that many complimentary approaches were well within the scope of standard nursing practice.  These included simple comfort measures, environmental changes, and support strategies - like optimal nutrition, hydration, exercise and rest.

I also learned a bit about the history of nursing and was surprised to find a rich tradition of complimentary nursing practices going all the way back to Florence Nightingale, my childhood idol.  These practices included some things I'd learned about in school and a few that I had not (such as simple herbal remedies and aromatherapy).  

The school I'd attended (Misericordia University in Dallas, PA) had stressed independent nursing practice and a holistic (body, mind and spirit) approach to wellness.  So I was very comfortable with the complimentary / holistic measures I was learning about.

A Holistic / Balanced Approach

I  did a lot of thinking that winter about what taking a holistic approach to wellness really meant.  While I didn't feel that my faith in my doctor was in any way misplaced, I could clearly see that I had been emphasizing body based solutions over the spiritual. 

I was very out of balance.  I had relied upon traditional medicine completely, ignored the emotional cost of overwork, and drastically underemphasized my Catholic faith.  So, with the full cooperation of my doctor, I began my own simple holistic treatment regime.

This regime included daily prayer, attending Mass several times a week, taking garlic honey in the morning, elderberry tea in the evening, rosemary inhalations (which I no longer recommend),* increased fruits and vegetables, a moratorium on overtime, and spending more time out of doors.  And, while it didn't happen overnight, I did get better!

Holistic Wellness Meets East and West

That first experience with holistic healing occurred over twenty years ago but, in many ways, it changed my approach to nursing - and life.

I am now a holistic nurse, a student in the Science and Art of Herbalism program, and a member of the American Holistic Nurses Association.  As such, I am a big proponent of holistic wellness - but I do have a couple of reservations.

The first reservation is that, as a registered nurse, I believe that moving forward with any treatment approach without involving your physician is always potentially dangerous.

While it is true, that in ancient times people relied completely on herbal and natural remedies, western medicine is not our enemy.  Instead it is a vital part of any sound approach to healing and wellness.  It is only when we rely upon certain aspects of western medicine exclusively (like pharmaceuticals) that we are likely to become unbalanced - from a holistic perspective.

My second reservation concerns the many new age and eastern practices (such as chakra work or Reiki) that are now associated with holistic health and wellness.

My problem isn't that people who identify as Hindu (or new age for that matter) may be using these modalities - it's that the general population is being told these practices are spiritually neutral or non-religious.  This is absolutely not the case.  

As a matter of fact, for many people practices like yoga, Reiki and eastern meditation can serve a gateway to deeper involvement in the new age and occult.

My Media

New Age and the Occult in the Mainstream

The Good News

St. Hildegard's Visions

St. Hildegard and Holistic Wellness

St. Hildegard's Legacy

Where I'm at with the Bible in a Year Study 

Creating a Spiritual Space in My Home

During lockdown I made my living room into a mini chapel. 

I set up an altar and started collecting holy statues.  Then wall mounted a flatscreen TV (that had gone unused in my bedroom) so I could watch Sunday Mass when it was livestreamed from our local parish.  

I am back at Mass now but I still like having the space to say my Rosary and watch some of my favorite Catholic priests on YouTube.  

Recently I decided it would ALSO be nice to set up a Bible study space in the same room.  This space is just a corner of a room and you do NOT to have a dedicated chapel-room to do it.  If space is an issue for you (like it was for me, prior to the last move) you can always set up a space in your room or a shared area.  If you use a shared area it may help to create private time by getting up early.

My Bible In a Year Study Corner

You can see my Bible in a Year study corner in the picture above.

The rocking chair once belonged to my maternal grandmother as did the china cabinet. I know a china cabinet doesn't really belong in a living room but I had to move it out of the kitchen anyway to make room for the coal stove and I like the idea of putting my prayer books, Bibles, prayer cards and rosaries behind glass.  They are holy items and I think it's nice to put them somewhere special.

In the pictures below you can see my Bible in a Year study tools both in the cabinet and out.

You may notice that my Bible in a Year notebook is spiral bound.  It did not come this way!  But because I wanted it to lay flat I took it to Staples and had it rebound.  The spiral binding and plastic cover (clear in front, navy blue in the back) costs under $5 and to me it's worth it if I'm going to be using a book a lot. ( I'm actually going to be doing the same thing with Fr. Ripperger's prayer book later this week.)

The Our Lovely World book you see in the bottom picture is my favorite book from childhood and one of two I've kept.  It is about a crow looking for the creator of the beautiful world that surrounds him.  It touched me as a child and I am even more impressed by its message now.

I hope to review the study materials in a future post but will say here that I am very happy with my Great Adventure Bible and Bible in a Year notebook.

______________________

To listen to Fr. Jos. Elston's inspiring homily on lectio divina and the importance of Scripture, please see the following post:  Homily on the Importance of Scripture

You can buy the Great Adventure Bible on amazon.  The hardcover (affiliate link) pictured above is out of print right now on the editor's website (where I got it) and pricey on amazon  but the paper copy is still available on amazon (affiliate link) and the editor's website, as of this writing.

You can buy Fr. Ripperger's Deliverance prayer book on amazon (affiliate link) in both kindle and paperback or from his website.

Because October is Rosary month and tomorrow, October 7th, is the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, I have been focusing on Our Lady of the Rosary in a few different ways.  These include learning about the Rosary, saying a 54 Day Rosary Novena and designing a new Rosary pamphlet for my Etsy shop.

A Bit About Our Lady of the Rosary

About the 54 Day Novena

My Rosary Pamphlet

I designed a trifold Rosary pamphlet for Rosary month and listed it in my Etsy printables shop.  The pamphlet includes all of the traditional Rosary prayers and has a complete list of the Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious and Luminous mysteries (listed under the days of the week they are to be recited).

The pamphlet is available for digital download at $1.25  But if you can't afford to purchase the pamphlet for any reason please contact me through Etsy and I'll provide the PDF free of charge.

_______________

You can see my Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary Trifold Pamphlet on Etsy at the following link.

You can read more about my decision to pray the 54 Day Rosary Novena here: How I'm Celebrating Rosary Month

See this pamphlet in my shop, Catholic Book And Card!

The 54 Day Rosary Novena  

“Love the Madonna and pray the Rosary, for her Rosary is the weapon against the evils of the world today.” – St. Padre Pio

Why I'm Doing a Catholic Study Program

The 3 Main Areas I Decided to Study

Catholic Study: Apologetics

Apologetics Resources

My Goals

Appalachia, On Leaving  

Only rain and streets of wet magnesium. 

These hundred panes are filled with

watered down yellow light. 

But the corners of the shop are webbed

with shadow.

There should be carriages and gas-lights here

but there is only a maroon and gold awning

out there across the street.

The tiny panes run with rain, blur the words,

whatever words

glisten up above that awning.

Plate glass windows and clothes behind.

Kresge's yellow-purple cotton housecoats,

old display cases, nineteen-forties styles,

and every looks so old.

My face, these shops, slip along grey-hound windows

lose their hold

and vanish.

Plans forgotten before the coffee's cold.

Promises I can't forget.

And you within your distance.

Tomorrow is waiting in a shipping crate,

one more highway, one more home.

I can't stop now.

So this time it's Miami, because there's no place left

I haven't been.

I take what was me in two-fisted filthy chunks

and wrench it out.

__________

The postcard above is a the actual view across the river less than a half mile down from my grandparents farm

My Grandparent's Farm, Appalachian Mountains of NE Pennsylvania

"Winter in Miami" 

My grandmother only goes to funerals.  

She will never see Florida 

but she has the world  

in her windows. 

In the morning the river is fog 

and the trees are lost.

Sunrise happens way up high.

It spills down the slopes,

and shines brighter than itself

in the imperfections of old glass.

There is shade all day until 

the sun gets lost in the hills again

and the light come on.

Forever is train noises and headlights

in the dark and every star in the universe

shining out across the fields.

I have been to Florida over and over

until I lost count.

Black seaweed, white sand,

the ocean is always itself.

The whole of humanity sits on towels

to watch it

stretch out of sight.

I wasn't ever there for that.

I was there for the dark days

and the rain.

Days when the wild things

cry out across the everglades

and the black-winged birds

come pouring in from the North

to wage war

upon the backlot dumpsters.

Days when the ocean churns its garbage out

onto cold beaches

and the tourists leave Miami

looking for other 

better places

where the weather is constant

and the sea 

stands still.

Be glad, O children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given the early rain for our vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before.  “The threshing floors shall be full of grain; the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.  I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten...   - Joel 2:23-25

Detroit, Michigan

About this Poem

I wrote the first version of this poem when I was 17 or 18 and, even though I rewrote several years later, it is still awkward.  In many ways, it is, and was, more symbolic than literal.  Because even though it is about the city of Detroit, out of all the cities I have lived in, I probably knew Detroit the least.  

It is true that I was born there but it is also true that we moved to the suburbs when I was still quite young and then to Indiana when I was 13.  Meaning that, aside from the occasional event or shopping trip, I spent most of my childhood in the suburbs.  Things were not, of course, all good winds.  As I think is evident between the lines of the poem.

When I was old enough to drive, I went back and forth between Indiana and Michigan almost every weekend.  I spent most of my time there in closer proximity to the city.  A few years later, after the birth of my son, I moved to the Northeast Appalachian Mountains near to where my maternal grandparents lived. And stayed there.

I never went back to Detroit.  And I never went back to Indiana either.

A Short Dream

Childhood was such a short dream.

Michigan, all good wind and apples

giving way early to Detroit,

The hard city nights chain linked

and dangerous.

Childhood was a dozen ponds,

soft with algae, reed encircled,

one big Rousseaux - with no explanations.

We trouped through the wind-breaker days,

the almost time for dinner evenings.

That's all.

Later there were barbeques

and cousins coming.

Sweet purple and white nights

of wet grass, wide lawns, air and space.

We spun beneath all the pale moons until

we fell drunk upon wet earth,

toadstools, violet skies and Venus.

The Church stood in its own

pale bright light.

Pastel coasts, dark communions 

and a light which said

Eternal Life

But all that I've seen passes.

And somewhere beyond

all that motion

angels

to guide us.

Guiding me

through yellow lit tunnels,

dark houses huddling behind

the street lights.

A clear cold world of dark cars 

and black glass,

A galaxy of light like China Town

at New Year's.

And in the end it was Detroit

that somehow captured me.

In spite of, because of

the rummage sale sidewalks

rain on the windows.

In the end 

It was Detroit.

Empty shops, empty streets

and too much light 

in too much darkness.

_________

Providentially, the end in the poem wasn't the end of my story.

Writing My Testimony

June 2022 update:  I have been waffling about writing my testimony for a long time.  Odds are, I was praying about it around the time I had this dream.  But I didn't see the connection until now.

The Dream

A contractor I apparently knew had told me about a volunteer opportunity.  He said that there was a woman living in a house that was in bad condition and that he, and some others, had been trying to help her.  So I went to see what I could do.

The house was unpleasant.  Not deplorable necessarily but ugly.  I was in the kitchen and the young woman I was supposed to help was complaining.  There were numerous problems with the property.  I remember that there was a 1980s style drop ceiling and some of the tiles were coming down.  Everything seemed flimsy and cheap.  

I didn't enjoy talking to the woman.  She was loud and obviously immature.  She was younger than me. I didn't have a strong sense of her age but she acted like an adolescent or even a pre-adolescent.  I tried to be charitable but I found her very irritating.  It seemed that she was renting and she was very unhappy with her landlady who was neglecting the property.

A little while later, I was at a dinner being held in the woman's honor.  We were seated at a long table under an old aluminum carport next to the house.  I was at the far end of the table.  I had reconnected with an old friend.  In real life, our friendship ended years ago but I've regretted that.  In the dream, I was happy to reconnect with her and eager to catch up.  She looked young and successful, just as I remembered her.

Annoyingly, the guest of honor kept demanding my attention from her end of the table.  She had written several different documents and was insisting I read them aloud.  Someone brought them to me. It was a hodgepodge of old newspaper clippings and pictures and handwritten papers.

I did not want to be bothered with the woman or her requests and kept saying that I didn't want to read what she had written.  I was angry with her for interrupting and insisting I read.  I felt that she was demanding attention she didn't deserve even though the dinner was being held in her honor.

My Take

When I woke up, I was still a little annoyed.  But then it occurred to me that the immature, attention seeking woman might be that part of myself who I don't want to acknowledge - here in this blog or anywhere.  My feelings toward her are so negative that blogging about the dream is unpleasant.

But there is something about all of this that is demanding my attention. 

I don't think it was any coincidence that I felt so much negativity toward the woman in the dream.  Other people apparently realized she needed help but, to me, she didn't deserve it.  I wanted to be left alone with my successful friend instead.  

Whether the dream was a message from God or a message from my subconscious is debatable.  But I do feel that it's significant.

Looking at the Symbolism

Mary Saying Yes to God

And in the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God into a city of Galilee, called Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel being come in, said unto her: Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Who having heard, was troubled at his saying, and thought with herself what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said to her: Fear not, Mary, for thou hast found grace with God.

Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus. [32] He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the most High; and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of David his father; and he shall reign in the house of Jacob for ever. And of his kingdom there shall be no end. And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man? And the angel answering, said to her: The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the most High shall overshadow thee. And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

And behold thy cousin Elizabeth, she also hath conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that is called barren: Because no word shall be impossible with God. And Mary said: Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.  

- Luke 1: 26-38  (Douay Rheims Bible)

You can listen to the SSPX (Society of St. Pius the X) Consecration (of Russia) Prayer as spoken by Bishop Fellay below at 44:19:

My New Age to Protestant to Catholic Bible Journey 

Things have been going well for me lately.

I feel good about my Etsy shop. Most days, I even feel good about my writing. But I've been wondering lately if continuing with the new age to Catholic content really makes sense. Sometimes I think that it's a waste of time.

I feel discouraged and I'm not sure if that's fatigue, spiritual warfare or just plain common sense. So I prayed for guidance. And then I came across a bible.

Finding the Bible

The Bible was exactly what I'd been looking for ever since I returned to the faith.  

It was white, just like the Bible my grandmother had given me when I was young, and it had amazing illustrations and very readable type.  There was a section on the Rosary and another on the Stations of the Cross - both complete with pictures.  And it was the exact version I'd been looking for.I liked that it was published in 1962 and still in its original box. 

So I bought it on the spot.

Reading My New Bible

One thing I do know, that whereas I was blind, now I see.  - St. John 10:25

When I was in the new age I was spiritually blind.  And when I returned to the faith, things were suddenly crystal clear.  So this verse says it all.  It reminded me of how important it is to keep talking about the deception of the new age and occult.

So I decided that for now I am going to hang in there with the blog and continue with my testimony.  

Probably the best reason to read the Bible is that it increases our understanding of our Catholic faith.  But there are many other reasons.  Receiving personal guidance is one.  Combatting the lies of the enemy is another.  

Both of which were huge for me this week.