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New Age To Catholic

Why I left the New Age and occult and returned to my Catholic faith

Blogging on Spiritual Warfare & the Demonic

May 28, 2022

Why the Interest in Spiritual Warfare & the Demonic?  

I've been studying spiritual warfare and the demonic (along with a range of traditional Catholic topics) ever since I came back to the Catholic Church in May of 2020. Some of the reasons for my interest in these topics include:

  1. I had direct personal experience with the demonic when I was involved in the occult and I was still confused about some of the things that had happened to me.  
  2. I was experiencing a lot of spiritual warfare (and actually still do) because of the many doors I had opened during my time in the occult and needed to learn more about how to deal with it.  
  3. I love to read and take notes and learn new things.  One of the best feelings I know is the one  you get when things that didn't make sense before finally start to fall into place.

Why I Almost Didn't Blog on These Topics

When I first started this blog almost two years ago, I called it New Age to Catholic.  Mostly because I didn't want to admit that most of what I had been doing in the "New Age" was plain and unadulterated occultism.  While it can be successfully argued that the New Age is filled with occult practices, there is no debating the fact that what I was doing was darker.

There was a part of me that just didn't want to admit that.  And even after I came to terms with it, I didn't want to blog about it for the following reasons.

I thought people would consider a blog about such topics weird or dark.  

And, the truth is, some do.  They aren't completely wrong either because demons are dark.  The problem is, pretending they don't exist only make it easier for them to operate.  I still don't like the idea of being judged, however - and that is something that enemy has used against me over and over again. 

I was afraid I'd experience an uptick in spiritual warfare.  This has happened.  A couple days after I renamed the blog, I was so anxious about how people would react to it that I almost took it down.  At 3 in the morning!  Then I realized how over the top that kind of anxiety was.  I've been writing and speaking publicly on various platforms since 2010 so it's very out of character for me to worry that much about anything I say online.  

This wasn't the only episode of spiritual warfare I had to deal with but it was an instance that was relatively easy to fix.  My anxiety faded quickly as I recited the Rosary in Latin and I fell asleep without deleting the site.

I was afraid that other Catholics would tell me I had no business writing on spiritual warfare & demonic influence 

I haven't dealt with this directly as of yet, but I do know that many priests and exorcists have reservations about people who become overly interested in spiritual warfare and the demonology.  And I do understand this concern.  Especially because a lot of people are drawn to dark topics and it can cause problems.

Adam Blai, a psychologist and Church sanctioned lay demonologist deals with this issue in the question and answer section in the back of his very helpful book Possession, Exorcism and Hauntings (affiliate link).

Q: How do I become a demonologist? A: Why would you want to? Many people in the paranormal community, and in the public, seem to think demonology is "cool" or "exciting" or will make them famous. These reasons fade very quickly for those who actually meet a demon. Being a demonologist is a spiritual calling that leads one to live part of their life in nightmare environments of intense physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering that people go through.  People don't choose to be demonologists or exorcists; God makes people demonologists or exorcists.

I don't necessarily disagree with the points made here.  Because Blai is a practicing psychologist and a demonologist, I believe that he does see a LOT of suffering and I commend him for the work that he does.  While I am certainly not an expert, however, I still feel called to share my own personal experience.  

I was worried that it might be a slippery slope.

This, I think, is the concern most priests have when a member of their flock develops an interest in demonology, spiritual warfare or related topics - which I completely understand.  There are many different ways that the devil can trip us up and I know, from experience, that people with an interest in the dark topics are definitely at risk.

But I don't think that ignorance is the answer.  And I don't think that we can escape the devil's notice by keeping a low profile, either.  Instead, I am convinced that our safety lies in our devotion to our Catholic faith.  The more experience we have topics like this, the more focused our spiritual life needs to be.  Some people  may be able to get by as lukewarm Catholics.  Those of us who have tiptoed through the dark cannot.  To me, this alone is worth sharing.

Why I Decided to Blog on this Topic

It's one thing to read about spiritual warfare and the demonic, however, and another thing to publicly blog on it.

When I first started talking about my past experience in the occult, I didn't go into any real detail about my own experience with demons.  But as time passed I began to become more and more aware of the degree of demonic activity in our society as a whole.  And it concerned me.

So I decided that it made sense to talk about what had happened to me and what I am learning about it in hopes it will be of some use to others.  In upcoming posts, I'll be sharing more about spiritual warfare and demonic influence from a Catholic perspective.  So please do check back! 

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To read my the abridged version of my testimony about my experience in the New Age and occult, please click here.

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St. Gregory's Ghost Story

May 21, 2022


The Ghost of Tauriana 

In 593 AD, Pope St. Gregory the Great tells this fascinating ghost story in his Dialogues:  
Bishop Felix…said that he had been told of such a case by a saintly priest who was still living two years ago in the diocese of Centum Cellae as pastor of the Church of St. John in Tauriana [Italy]. This priest used to bathe in the hot springs of Tauriana whenever his health required. One day, as he entered the baths, he found a stranger there who showed himself most helpful in every way possible, by unlatching his shoes, taking care of his clothes, and furnishing him towels after the hot bath.

After several experiences of this kind, the priest said the himself: ‘It would not do for me to appear ungrateful to this man who is so devoted in his kind services to me. I must reward him in some way.’ So one day he took along two crown-shaped loaves of bread to give him.

When he arrived at the place, the man was already waiting for him and rendered the same services he had before. After the bath, when the priest was again fully dressed and ready to leave, he offered the man the present of bread, asking him kindly to accept it as a blessing, for it was offered a token of charity.

But the man sighed mournfully and said, "Why do you give it to me, Father? That bread is holy and I cannot eat it. I who stand before you was once the owner of this place. It is because of my sins that I was sent back here as a servant. If you wish to do something for me, then offer this bread to almighty God, and so make intercession for me, a sinner. When you come back and do not find me here, you will know that your prayers have been heard."

With these words he disappeared, thus showing that he was a spirit disguised as a man. The priest spent the entire week in prayer and tearful supplications, offering Mass for him daily. When he returned to the bath, the man was no longer to be found. This incident points out the great benefits souls derive from the Sacrifice of the Mass. Because of these benefits the dead ask us, the living, to have Masses offered for them, and even show us by signs that it was through the Mass that they were pardoned.

My Takeaway

The story of the ghost of Tauriana not a firsthand account.  It is related to St. Gregory by trusted individuals, however, and the saint found it credible enough to include in his dialogues.  Whether or not the ghost was actually able to unlatch shoes and pass out towels is a matter of opinion - but I think that the bulk of the story could very well be true.

This story is of interest because it describes an apparition of a departed human being.  But there are a few other takeaways which I think are worth mentioning.

Making Amends

The ghost was serving in a bathhouse he once owned.  While we don't known the exact nature of his sin, we do know that he is now serving there because of his sins.  To me, this hints at a need to make reparation.  

Most Catholic exorcists and demonologists agree that there are two primary reasons that God may allow a soul to appear to the living.  The first is to ask for prayer.  The second is to make amends.  Reparation and amends are synonyms though their meaning is slightly different.  To me, making amends in the Catholic sense can included all of the meanings specified below.
Amends is a synonym of reparation. As nouns the difference between reparation and amends is that reparation is (usually in plural) a payment of time, effort or money to undo past transgression(s) while amends is compensation for a loss or injury; recompense; reparation.
As the owner of the bathhouse, the ghost of Tauriana may have been a proud man or a hard boss.  If so, serving in a place he once owned would be the perfect path to purification. 

Purgatory on Earth?

The idea of purgatory on earth can be found in some Catholic sources, including the fascinating Purgatory Explained (affiliate link) by Rev. Fr. F. X. Schouppe S.J. which bears a 1893 Imprimatur.
"A very probable opinion,” says St. Thomas, “and one which, moreover, corresponds with the words of the saints in particular revelation, is that Purgatory has a double place for expiation. The first will be destined for the generality of souls, and is situated below, near to Hell; the second will be for particular cases, and it is from thence that so many apparitions occur.” (Suppl., part. 3, ques. ult.).  The holy Doctor admits, then, like so many others who share his opinions, that sometimes Divine Justice assigns a special place of purification to certain souls, and even permits them to appear either to instruct the living or to procure for the departed the suffrages of which they stand in need; sometimes also for other motives worthy of the wisdom and mercy of God.
Does such a situation explain some hauntings?  

I think it might though I still feel that a true human haunting is an unusual or rare occurrence.   To me the correct response to a haunting is to pray for the departed or, as St. Gregory recommends, have a Mass said.  Conversing with the spirit (as many paranormal investigators do) would fall under the umbrella of mediumship and should always be avoided.  

Any experience of paranormal phenomena is likely to be demonic.  So, if you sense or experience anything in your home, please your parish priest to bless the location and consider implementing your own protective measures, as the home owner, after he has finished (I'm planning to talk about this more in an upcoming post).

What Spirits Want

To me, the most important takeaway from St. Gregory's Ghost story, is the clear message that departed want and need prayers and Masses.  In my opinion, this is the proper response to any kind of paranormal activity.  If the presence is a human spirit praying or having a Mass said will bring peace - to you and to them.

I'd also like to stress that if we believe that a departed loved one, or other human spirit, has come to us in a vivid dream or supernatural apparition - we should NOT assume that we have some sort of special psychic abilities.  This is where I went wrong and one reason why I got caught up in spiritism and occult practices. 

It's part our fallen nature to become proud and imagine we have some sort of special gift when these things happen, but the story of the ghost of Tauriana does not support this.  Instead it makes at three important points. 
  1. The conversation between the living and the dead was limited to the topic of sin, making amends and the request for prayer and Masses.  The priest in the story didn't try to contact the spirit again in order to satisfy his own curiosity. Instead, this man of God immediately turned to prayer and supplication and the offering of the Mass.  This, in my opinion, is a lesson to us all.
  2. The spirit said he had been sent to the bathhouse.  This is consistent with the fact that the departed appear to us ONLY by the grace of God.  They do not chose to be here.  We do not summon them.  Nor do we see them because we have some special ability that others lack.  It is up to God to assign a departed soul to heaven, hell or purgatory.  And it is up to Him to allow them to contact the living (though, judging from Luke 16:19-31, it seems that those in hell are not granted this privilege).
  3. The departed could not eat and, in this case, was unable to take the "holy bread."  To me, this sounds like a reminder that the dead cannot receive the Host.  This lines up with the Catholic teaching on purgatory, as I understand it.  In contrast with our earthly life, once in purgatory we cannot actively develop virtue, but are only able to be passively purified of sin.  This is why the holy souls in purgatory need our prayers!
For more on this topic, please visit my Paranormal Investigation page!
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  • The Dialogues of St. Gregory (affiliate link) is available on Amazon as is Purgatory Explained (affiliate link) by Rev. Fr. F. X. Schouppe S.J.  The Dialogues can also be found for free online.
  • Please note that if you purchase through one of my affiliate links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.
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Holistic Wellness & New Age Deception (Podcast EP 5 + Video)

May 19, 2022


 


About this Content:

Is holistic wellness compatible with the Catholic faith?  I believe it can be, with a few caveats.  In this video I chat about holistic wellness, new age deception and a few of the many resources of our Catholic faith.  

If you'd like to read my take on the difference between holistic and alternative health care, please check out this post:  A Catholic Nurse's Take on Holistic Wellness.

About the Video

I sometimes get a little rattled when I do videos (especially when my pup is barking at me through the door) and make mistakes.  In this one I said hypotension instead of hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) TWICE.  I also said "most" toxic medicine is based on herbs which is wrong, wrong, wrong.  I meant to say "some" - which I suspect most people already know.

I do a bit better in the podcast version!

About the Podcast:

I am going to be doing less live videos and more podcasts. All of the podcasts will still post to YouTube but not all will have video going forward. So, if you like to listen to content via a podcast player, please look for (and follow) my podcast: New Age To Catholic!
 
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Latin-English Rosary eBooklet Cover

May 7, 2022


This is the cover for my new Latin-English Rosary ebooklet. 

The Latin-English Rosary ebooklet  I'm planning will be an expanded version of my shop's Latin-English Rosary trifold.  The ebooklet will be available for digital download and formatted for Kindle or other ereaders.  I decided to create a second Latin-English Rosary resource because, while people like the trifold, it really only works as a printable.

This would be my next nonfiction project and my first self-published ebook. Though I'm not sure right now just when it will be done.

I also wanted to let everyone know that my new 54 Day Novena printable booklet is finished.  I will be listing it in the shop next week! 

__________________

If you're interested in the Latin-English Rosary trifold, please click here:  Rosary Trifold

If you want to stay updated on new blog posts and shop items please sign up for my email list here.  If you're only interested in shop updates, please follow my shop, Blackwood Abbey, on Etsy!

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My name is Barbara Graver. I returned to Catholicism in early 2020 after becoming deeply involved in the New Age and occult. While in the occult I was a popular metaphysical blogger and professional card reader, relying heavily on spirits who were not what I believed them to be. I now blog and podcast on my experience. To get my media in a weekly digest please sign up for my email list below!
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