Why the Interest in Spiritual Warfare & the Demonic?
I've been studying spiritual warfare and the demonic (along with a range of traditional Catholic topics) ever since I came back to the Catholic Church in May of 2020. Some of the reasons for my interest in these topics include:
- I had direct personal experience with the demonic when I was involved in the occult and I was still confused about some of the things that had happened to me.
- I was experiencing a lot of spiritual warfare (and actually still do) because of the many doors I had opened during my time in the occult and needed to learn more about how to deal with it.
- I love to read and take notes and learn new things. One of the best feelings I know is the one you get when things that didn't make sense before finally start to fall into place.
Why I Almost Didn't Blog on These Topics
When I first started this blog almost two years ago, I called it New Age to Catholic. Mostly because I didn't want to admit that most of what I had been doing in the "New Age" was plain and unadulterated occultism. While it can be successfully argued that the New Age is filled with occult practices, there is no debating the fact that what I was doing was darker.
There was a part of me that just didn't want to admit that. And even after I came to terms with it, I didn't want to blog about it for the following reasons.
I thought people would consider a blog about such topics weird or dark.
And, the truth is, some do. They aren't completely wrong either because demons are dark. The problem is, pretending they don't exist only make it easier for them to operate. I still don't like the idea of being judged, however - and that is something that enemy has used against me over and over again.
I was afraid I'd experience an uptick in spiritual warfare. This has happened. A couple days after I renamed the blog, I was so anxious about how people would react to it that I almost took it down. At 3 in the morning! Then I realized how over the top that kind of anxiety was. I've been writing and speaking publicly on various platforms since 2010 so it's very out of character for me to worry that much about anything I say online.
This wasn't the only episode of spiritual warfare I had to deal with but it was an instance that was relatively easy to fix. My anxiety faded quickly as I recited the Rosary in Latin and I fell asleep without deleting the site.
I was afraid that other Catholics would tell me I had no business writing on spiritual warfare & demonic influence
I haven't dealt with this directly as of yet, but I do know that many priests and exorcists have reservations about people who become overly interested in spiritual warfare and the demonology. And I do understand this concern. Especially because a lot of people are drawn to dark topics and it can cause problems.
Adam Blai, a psychologist and Church sanctioned lay demonologist deals with this issue in the question and answer section in the back of his very helpful book Possession, Exorcism and Hauntings (affiliate link).
Q: How do I become a demonologist? A: Why would you want to? Many people in the paranormal community, and in the public, seem to think demonology is "cool" or "exciting" or will make them famous. These reasons fade very quickly for those who actually meet a demon. Being a demonologist is a spiritual calling that leads one to live part of their life in nightmare environments of intense physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering that people go through. People don't choose to be demonologists or exorcists; God makes people demonologists or exorcists.
I don't necessarily disagree with the points made here. Because Blai is a practicing psychologist and a demonologist, I believe that he does see a LOT of suffering and I commend him for the work that he does. While I am certainly not an expert, however, I still feel called to share my own personal experience.
I was worried that it might be a slippery slope.
This, I think, is the concern most priests have when a member of their flock develops an interest in demonology, spiritual warfare or related topics - which I completely understand. There are many different ways that the devil can trip us up and I know, from experience, that people with an interest in the dark topics are definitely at risk.
But I don't think that ignorance is the answer. And I don't think that we can escape the devil's notice by keeping a low profile, either. Instead, I am convinced that our safety lies in our devotion to our Catholic faith. The more experience we have topics like this, the more focused our spiritual life needs to be. Some people may be able to get by as lukewarm Catholics. Those of us who have tiptoed through the dark cannot. To me, this alone is worth sharing.
Why I Decided to Blog on this Topic
It's one thing to read about spiritual warfare and the demonic, however, and another thing to publicly blog on it.
When I first started talking about my past experience in the occult, I didn't go into any real detail about my own experience with demons. But as time passed I began to become more and more aware of the degree of demonic activity in our society as a whole. And it concerned me.
So I decided that it made sense to talk about what had happened to me and what I am learning about it in hopes it will be of some use to others. In upcoming posts, I'll be sharing more about spiritual warfare and demonic influence from a Catholic perspective. So please do check back!
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To read my the abridged version of my testimony about my experience in the New Age and occult, please click here.
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